Spawn

Name:
Location: Central Texas

I'm tired.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I have recently received complaints that I don't blog often enough.

My time is limited, and it might be better for all two of you who read this to just sit down at the kitchen table and talk to me directly. I might even feed you.

That being said, I am only writing tonight because I don't have the stamina to tackle yet another exam, but I do have just enough energy to blather for a while about something inane. Rather than try to be witty and urbane about everything, though, I'm going to make you a list, in no particular order of importance, of Stuff That Has Happened recently.

1. I bought a bicycle. "But Stef! Don't you already own a bicycle that you so frequently don't ride that it's covered in rust?!" you may be asking your computer screen. Yes! That is the case, but I discovered that my tendency to not ride my bicycle was a result of having a bicycle that sucked. I bought a Schwinn cruising cycle, which means it has upright handlebars, like the bicycles used to have when I was a kid. There are no handbrakes, but pedal brakes, and there is only a single speed. It is bubble gum pink and has a little ledge on back where I can bungee my belongings. This bike is a joy to ride, and you'd think I'd be a size 8 again because I like it so much, but that's not the case. Perhaps I should try not eating Sonic cheese tots every day of my life.

2. I ate Sonic cheese tots every day of my life up until the Girl got out of school, which was also when I had to stop my internship at the clinic, which was situated 3 blocks away from Sonic, where the cheese tots dwell. Presto! Now they are only a guilty pleasure. And I do mean guilty. But that doesn't stop me.

3. I am a semester and a half away from finally graduating. (Yay.) I am also about 6 and a half months away from taking the VTNE. (Boo.) I say boo because I'm not sure I'll pass it without killing myself studying, and those in the know are well aware of my abilities to study consistently. (I don't have any.)

4. I have decided that what my life needs is simplicity (plus a lot of money.) Along that line, I have decided that I am going to, in essence, pick up the house, dump everything out, and start over. I'm talking brutality here, okay? If we haven't used it in 6 months, it goes away. I don't care who gave it to us or where it came from. If we're keeping it, it had better have a darn good story about how it came to be ours! For instance, I probably won't throw out my wedding shoes. Yeah, I wore them for about 4 or 5 hours one day over 10 years ago, but dammit, the Girl is going to have big gunboat feet, too, so maybe she can wear them! Underwear and socks are going away, because I have about 300 mismatched widow socks, and an equal number of pieces of underwear that are either too small, too big, cut funny, holey or just plain weird. I've already started on my clothes and the Girl's clothes (about 5 lawn and leaf bags full!) and shoes. Towels and other linen closet stuff goes next, along with kitchen gadgets and old cans of food pushed to the back of the pantry. The Girl's old bike and kid kitchen are going on Craigslist (with her permission, of course. She gets the cash!)

5. Once the simplicity is established, it will be further enhanced by the cleaning person/people I'm fixing to hire, and the interiors company that I plan to have in to strip our nauseating wallpaper, retexture the walls, and paint. Which will then mean we have to buy new towels for the bathrooms and possibly lay down some carpet tiles in the living, dining, and bedrooms. And also new curtains, naturally, and maybe new kitchen and guest bath cabinetry. But all that stuff? SIMPLE!

6. The simplicity will continue on in our food. I am trying to get away from all the prepackaged stuff and go more toward whole foods, but I'm having a terrible time. The biggest obstacle is the Girl's need for snack foods, and to be honest, as much as I'd like to be able to make my own fruit leather and crackers, it just isn't happening. I do try to get stuff that's organic or without hydrogenated death powder in it, but sometimes, you've just gotta have a Pop-Tart. (Okay, not really. I don't eat them because of the Gluten, the Girl isn't allowed to have them, and Zach doesn't eat them because he's too smart for that. I do, however, occasionally give the Girl the treat of Fiber One toaster pastries. They're just as bad as Pop-Tarts, but at least you poop them out, faster.) At any rate, this means that I'll be cooking more often, which is a good thing, and eating healthier foods, which is also a plus. Now if I can only figure out a way to get the Girl to stop seeing veggies as The Enemy. Does anybody have a recipe for Vegetable Ranch Dressing Soup? Hmmmm. If nobody does, maybe I could develop one! Note to self. . .

7. I have finally become slightly better at jugular blood draws, and intubated another dog last week. I am in love with my job. How many people can say that? Seriously, I love it. I feel more confident (except about the state boards!) and feel like I can figure out almost anything people need me to do there. Now all I have to really work on is my fear of handling cats. As much as I love Mr. Kitty (and I do love him something awful!) I still believe cats are evilish. But I'm not afraid to scruff them anymore!

8. We are raising 10 Black Swallowtail caterpillars in a butterfly habitat on our kitchen table. Thus far, 5 have become crysalises and there's one more getting restless which is what they do the day before they suspend themselves from a branch and go to sleep. Of the four remaining, I'm pretty sure one is retarded. Curious to see how he'll turn out.

9. There are probably way more things to blather about, but I can't remember them now, and even if I did, I wouldn't feel like writing about them, so instead I leave you with this quote from Eric Cartman:

"Hell YES I want Cheesy Poofs! Stupid Mom. . ."