I can't touch him, because I don't know where he's been

We have a cup of pens and pencils between our computers. (Most of them don't work, by the way.) Zach was complaining a while back about them, and scrounged around to find some to refill it. Recently, I was pulling out pens to take notes or doodle or whatever.

The first pen I pulled out had an ad for Viagra on it.

The second pen was from a bailbondsman.

Next I will find one from Sex Reassignment Center in Bangkok, and then I will begin the divorce proceedings.