Hogging the (teeny weeny) spotlight

So this is just about me.

Me!

I am convinced (and perhaps somewhat paranoid) that SOMEBODY out there is reading my mind.

Firstly, there is an 80's edition of Trivial Pursuit. As I am an unabashed 80's-phile, this is the perfect game for me to buy and then find out that I'm not the hot-shit Queen of An Era that I think I am. (Kinda like having a degree in English qualifies me for absolutely SUCKING at the literature categories on Jeopardy. Seriously--unless it's one of those high school episodes, I can usually answer the $200 question, and after that I begin to realize that I skimmed all those classics just a bit too lightly. Anyway. . .)

And secondly, T.G.I. Friday's has come out with a new appetizer. Breaded, DEEP FRIED MACARONI AND CHEESE!! I saw the commercial and then once I recovered from my swoon, I called Zach at work to tell him, and thank God there is a T.G.I.Friday's only all the way across town! This here is a question for my father--Dad, how many times did we joke that my perfect food would be a deep-fried cheese-ball? Like, at least a billion times, right?

Is there or is there not an alien mind-probe somewhere spewing out random facts about me? Very soon there's going to be a reality show about dogs and wedding dresses. I'm not sure how the network will marry all that, but yeah--I'd be there, TIVOing every week.

And the change the subject with violent speed--I "vaccinated" a cat last week. That's in quotes, because if everything had gone right, I WOULD have vaccinated a cat against feline distemper, but what really happened was that I pulled up a scruff of skin, stuck the needle THROUGH it, and squirted the vaccine OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CAT.

I am completely lame.

I did, however, succeed in taking the temperature of a totally insane Jack Russell. Interestingly, after literally climbing up and down my body and that of my lab partner, Caroline, he stood very, very still when we stuck something up his butt. You know, this Vet Tech thing is making me very happy.

Now, because I have a number of photos of Zoe on my computer that, if each photo were printed and all the prints were laid end to end, the result would circumnavigate the world's largest ball of yarn, I'll add one here :

When she misbehaves, I make Zoe stay out in our goat run, with her father. He's there a lot.

America's Next Top Model

Today, in the mall, having been attracted by the loud music and wide open space at the front of the store for dancing, Zoe and I found ourselves in The Limited. Their front windows are full of mannequins. Zoe peeked around the corner at them, then turned to me and said, "I'm going to be a mannequin."

She stood in the window, looking out into the mall, put her hands on her hips, and stared into the distance, perfectly still, for about 15 seconds. Then she turned back to me and said, "Mannequins don't talk well."

I might even keep this up-to-date, maybe!

I really don't have time to be writing this.

What I SHOULD be doing is continuing to work on my voluminous linen houppelande, which, even though it is linen, will most likely cause my skin to bubble up like cheddar cheese under a broiler in the Texas heat. But dagnabbit, I'm gonna be a STYLING dead girl! A styling, thouroughly authentically medieval dead girl.

But none of you care about slightly bizarre hobbies.

This isn't really a blog. This is a way to keep all of you (the family!) up to date with photos and cute anecdotes (of which there are plenty.) So in the spirit of getting this thing started, I give you:

Cute Anecdote #1

Several weeks ago, while making an attempt at potty training, I dressed Zoe with "big girl panties" under her pants instead of a diaper. She promptly peed in them, and hasn't been put in them again. But she remembers with frightening clarity exactly WHICH pair of big girl panties she sullied.

Last night, as we walked upstairs after her bath, this was our conversation:
Zoe: You know what I did in my blue flowered panties?
Me: Did you pee in them?
Zoe: Yes!!
Me: Why did you pee in your blue flowered panties?
Zoe: Because my shoes were full.

Indeed!