Probably by now you've figured out that I don't have rabies. Or that at least my rabies hasn't appeared yet--they say it can incubate for years, and after clinical signs appear, there's no cure. So put simply, I am a potential walking vector for the Lyssavirus, a potential seething mass of replicating invisible killers, a potential Patient One for the rabies outbreak that will end the world.
Or not.
What I CERTAINLY am is very near the end of my first set of classes at San Juan, stressed out by the amount of written work I need to do, stressed out by the amount of practical work I have to do, and positively demented over the idea that the VTNE will grab me by my spleen and swing me over its head. (The VTNE is the test I have to pass to get my license, and it is very hard, which I know because I have some study guides, and even though I've been working on this forever, I can look at the questions and feel as though I'm back in 9th grade English class, staring at sentences to be diagrammed, and not giving a shit.) But this time, I give a HUGE shit! (Heh!) And I still feel like a deer in the headlights. And that's only glancing through the study guide! What'll it feel like when I sit down at a table with the test in front of me and no Wikipedia to turn to? I'll tell you what it'll feel like--it'll feel like a mouthful of farts, that's what. Not good.
The frustration inherent in learning new stuff is nuts. Last week, I drove IVs into dogs with one hand tied behind my back. Today? A chihuahua who screamed like a girl while I tried to place a catheter and a pug with skin like rhinoceros leather pounded me into the dirt like a bug. So I'm going back tomorrow to try three more times! And then on Friday to try three MORE times! Take THAT, skinny-armed, leather-skinned, catheter-burring lack of confidence!
So now all I have to do is cram about 6 weeks of practical stuff into a week and a half, and I'm all set! Sounds just like me, doesn't it? I will never change. Then again, my ability to procrastinate is a large part of my charm. (Isn't it?)
Rhino skin!
Or not.
What I CERTAINLY am is very near the end of my first set of classes at San Juan, stressed out by the amount of written work I need to do, stressed out by the amount of practical work I have to do, and positively demented over the idea that the VTNE will grab me by my spleen and swing me over its head. (The VTNE is the test I have to pass to get my license, and it is very hard, which I know because I have some study guides, and even though I've been working on this forever, I can look at the questions and feel as though I'm back in 9th grade English class, staring at sentences to be diagrammed, and not giving a shit.) But this time, I give a HUGE shit! (Heh!) And I still feel like a deer in the headlights. And that's only glancing through the study guide! What'll it feel like when I sit down at a table with the test in front of me and no Wikipedia to turn to? I'll tell you what it'll feel like--it'll feel like a mouthful of farts, that's what. Not good.
The frustration inherent in learning new stuff is nuts. Last week, I drove IVs into dogs with one hand tied behind my back. Today? A chihuahua who screamed like a girl while I tried to place a catheter and a pug with skin like rhinoceros leather pounded me into the dirt like a bug. So I'm going back tomorrow to try three more times! And then on Friday to try three MORE times! Take THAT, skinny-armed, leather-skinned, catheter-burring lack of confidence!
So now all I have to do is cram about 6 weeks of practical stuff into a week and a half, and I'm all set! Sounds just like me, doesn't it? I will never change. Then again, my ability to procrastinate is a large part of my charm. (Isn't it?)
Rhino skin!posted by Stef | 6:50 PM
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