Cleanliness (actually, the lack thereof)

If I could subtitle this entry, it'd be:

"Crust and bodily functions."

Today is Tuesday. Zoe's last bath was Friday night. On Saturday, she spent the whole day outdoors sweating. Sunday night and Monday night, she was out late and didn't get home at a decent time for a bath. Today, I am halfway ashamed of being seen with her.

First, on Sunday, she used a brown, what is turning out to be semi-permanent marker to draw lines and large blotches on her legs and "paint" her toenails. Last night, she had some chocolate pie and today still has some chocolate remnants on her cheek and forehead. (I'm not certain how she did that, either.) Today, she crawled around on the floor at Half Price Books, making her knees brown, and then when we went to an unnamed place*, she got chalk dust all over her hands and clothes. (*the purpose of this place may or may not have something to do with a possible upcoming "holiday" during which gifts are given to a parent.) She has been sweating in the Central Texas heat the whole time. And today, after sitting on my lap, there was a pointedly unpleasant aroma when she arose and her butt wafted past my nose.

What I wanted to do: Hold her down, spray her gently with a firehose, scrub her with lye, and and hang her on the line to dry. What I did: proposed a spa day, wherein she was bathed with fragrant soaps, her hair washed and conditioned, her skin clarified and toned with a masque, her fingernails and toenails done, a massage given with berry-scented lotion, her hair done, and a spritz of perfume given, followed by lovely clean clothes. So we went to the beauty supply place nearby, bought some nail polish (clear with gold flecks,) stick-on jewels for her nails, berry-scented lotion, and spray-on, hot pink hair highlighter. On the way home, she fell asleep, so she is now in her bedroom contaminating her sheets.

Moe is back at the doctor today, but only for a check. Today was supposed to be the day we maybe heard back on the pathology, but so far, nothing. I'm thinking maybe when the doctor calls, we'll know more. He has had a few issues in the past few days, but nothing horrific. There was blood and a few clots in his urine, and a bit of blood on his first two poops after he got home. The scar on his belly pulls his winkie off to one side just a tiny bit, so he pees slightly to the right, and very often on his right rear foot. He has had two episodes of tinkling in the house, but I think this has more to do with a small bladder than anything else. He is also not particularly happy to go out into the backyard to do his business and now prefers the front. However, he is also happy to simply squat on the front porch. It's charming. I am hope-hope-hoping that the pathology comes back benign, since he seems pretty full of energy and happy right now. Keep him in your thoughts, still.

Talked my doctor into giving me an EKG yesterday because I worry that my heart races, and it came back normal. I'm also scheduled for an ultrasound of my liver and gallbladder this Friday, as that seems to be where I have pains quite often. Finally, he looked in my ear and found that I have fluid built up somewhere in there, which explains why I can hear my heart beating in my right ear, and keep feeling dizzy. (Before yesterday, I suspected the heartbeat in my ear thing was the thinning of an important artery that was combining with increased cranial pressure to soon produce an aneurysm that would shoot my brains out my right ear.) Fortunately, I was wrong.